Books I needed to buy, well I wanted to buy

Sometimes I find I simply must buy a certain book, which many of you dear blog friends can relate to.

Here are the tomes I recently acquired.
Laughing in the Dark by Chonda Pierce. I recently discovered her stand up comedy and watched her "Laughing in the Dark" show. She is so cute, that is how I describe her. Irrepressible humor, yet in that special comedy show there were sad undercurrents. Her marriage became difficult, her husband died and she is completely estranged from her daughter. Whew. Yet Chonda gets up on stage and entertains in a charming way. This book was published in 2007, before all the above mentioned heart break, and is about Chonda coping with depression while being hard at work as a Christian comedienne.

The World According to Bertie by Alexander McCall Smith.
I enjoyed the third book in the series so much that I bought this one, the fourth in the series. Bertie is 6 years old. Angus Lordie's dog Cyril has been taken away by the authorities, and is accused of being a serial biter. I have not read this book but must insist, Cyril is innocent. The first book in the series is 44 Scotland Street. These books bring me happiness when reading them. I found stashed away in my to be read shelves book two in the series "Espresso Tales" which I am reading now. Bertie's mom is quite horrid, in my opinion. His first day in a new school she insists the embarrassed Bertie wear strawberry colored overalls; she runs every aspect of his life, and pries into his thoughts as she quizzes the psychiatrist she makes Bertie see. I am cheering for Bertie, he is a smart little boy.

Finding God's Blessings in Brokenness: How Pain Reveals His Deepest Love by Charles F. Stanley.
I read about this book on a blog. One thing that attracted me is that this book has stunning photographs of nature illustrating it. I bought the hard cover so I can enjoy the photographs and I think the price was a bargain. The hardcover was one penny less than the ebook.

Southern Fried Divorce: A Woman Unleashes Her Hound and His Dog in the Big Easy by Judy Conner.
A blogger wrote that this is the funniest book she has read in her life and who could resist buying that? It is a "true story" and I look forward to reading it. She calls her ex-husband "That X" and he is definitely a bad boy. One day in June he surprised her with two Christmas gifts; a pistol and a puppy.
These four more books are on my to read shelves.

Poem for Anthony Bourdain and others who died by suicide

I felt sad when I read that Kate Spade died of suicide and then that Anthony Bourdain also died of suicide.
In Bourdain's last blog post, in 2016, in remembrance of the poet Jim Harrison, Bourdain posted this poem written by Harrison.
BARKING
The moon comes up.
The moon goes down.
This is to inform you that I didn't die young.
Age swept past me but I caught up.
Spring has begun here and each day
brings new birds up from Mexico.
Yesterday I got a call from the outside
world but I said no in thunder.
I was a dog on a short chain
and now there's no chain.

That last sentence really speaks to me and breaks my heart.
Please if you are in trouble, call 911 or a similar number in other countries, for help.
Someone I know did call 911 and the police came to her door, took her to treatment for 72 hours, and she is alive and well, several years later. Someone else I know and loved did not call for help and is gone, so this idea of loss by suicide is close to my heart. I will always wonder and be sad that they did not seek professional help or ask for my help.
This is the photo of the sky near my house that I came up with for this post:

Arboretum plants and sculpture

June 11 I took a walk in the arboretum at the University of California, Santa Cruz. Here are some highlights of a sculpture made from eucalyptus branches and photos of plants from Australia, New Zealand and South Africa and of succulents.

It looks like a lion's mane to me. What do you think?

The above shows the back and side. The first three photos below are of orange and of yellow Leucospermums from South Africa.

The above photos are of plants native to Australia, New Zealand and South Africa and the last two are of succulents. I plan to go back and write down the artist's name and plant names and add them to this post. I accidentally published this post today when I meant to save it and post at a later date after I found more plant names. Still, the plants are very pretty and speak for themselves.

Pink Sky petunia and kitchen remodel begins

An impulse buy at the garden store; I like the pink with splashes of white on the petals, a Headliner Pink Sky petunia.
I am buying a new quartz kitchen countertop. This is a long project with many steps; I visited 3 stores to look at samples, brought home about ten samples and eventually selected the one I want. Last week a handyman who is highly recommended came over, worked all day, built a cabinet for a new built in dishwasher, put in the dishwasher (not connected yet), removed the old counters, old sink, gas cook top and installed a new gas turn off under the stove top.

Above is the old counter top, can you see the scratch marks and faded areas after 65 years of use? I have lived in this house since 1984 and the light grey marble like marks on the formica type counters have faded to white in some areas from years of cleaning.

Above is the empty place where the kitchen counter used to be.

Above is another photo of where the counter was.
Two days later the templater came over and exactly measured the dimensions for the counter, and then the company will adjust the cost estimate. I told him to add in a back splash about 5 inches high of the same quartz. Yes, the person who came is called a templater, a job I had not heard of before. He must measure so accurately because they cut the stone at their location and the counter needs to fit, and they also need to cut out for the stove top and for the undermount sink.
I showed these samples before, here they are again. I chose the one in the upper left corner, called Kona Beige. The stone will be 1 and 1/8 inch thick and will need precision cutting as the slabs are huge.

The counters will be one solid piece of stone, not tiles as the samples are. Actually my kitchen cabinets are a U shape so there will be three stone slabs. This is happening step by step as each part in the process is completed. Meanwhile of course I have no kitchen counters, kitchen sink or stove top. I look forward to the new counters. They estimate they will install the counter in two weeks. I am waiting for their phone call to work out some refinements of my order and to hear the cost.

Decades Ago, Horses, Camping, Bedouin Camel Races

My sister and I riding horses, in 1955 or thereabouts. I adored horses, didn't most young girls? When I rode at the local riding stable the guide there was a young guy named Shorty, who rode his own horse. I was shocked to learn one day that Shorty sold his horse and bought a motorcycle. Things change.

My mom and dad loading up the family car for our annual camping trip. I love that family car, quite classy. My sister and I grew close to nature on those trips.

I saw camel races by Bedouins outside of Jericho, Jordan, during Easter week in 1966. I was attending college that year in Istanbul and my friend Carol and I traveled to Jerusalem, Jericho. Petra and Beirut at Easter.

Being a Widow and What I've Been Up To

 You know I post on different subjects, and don't want to bore non-widows with too much widow stuff, but it is part of my life now, and quite a few of my blog friends are in this same boat. We don't like to think of it but every loving marriage ends with a loved one as a widow or widower. This week when a lady said she wants to be more kind to her husband, I reminded her of that fact. She says yes, she thinks of me when she starts to say a harsh word to him.
Above photo is of my husband and a favorite mountain bike. He loved bicycling in nature on wild paths.
I have been a widow since November 2016 and I realize I am not the same Terra as I was the day before my husband Will died.
Much of me and much of my life has changed forever. Much of this change is unpleasant for me and there are a few good points too. Here is a lamp I bought with its beautiful colors.

I think many widows and widowers will agree that when you lose a long time spouse everything changes. You eat breakfast in a different way and sleep a different way. When you want to share some little thing, like a funny line from a book, your partner is missing.
In the first year I felt I was missing an arm, a leg, half of my brain and half of my heart. A friend whose husband of 40 years recently moved out and is filing for divorce says she feels the same way. It is about losing someone we love, someone who was part of our every day life for decades. People talk about the "widow fog" and I sure felt it. Now I am recovering but the new Terra is not the old Terra.
In Bible study recently with 14 women I realized 10 of them had not known me "before". So they never knew the old Terra before I was broken and began to slowly rebuild. A few precious friends knew the old and the new me.
I recommend Griefshare, just do an online search and there will likely be a group in your area. You do not need to say anything or you can share and my healing was helped by attending.
My house is so quiet now, which is kind of nice, yet kind of sad and lonely. I trained myself to say "my house" when for 34 years it has been "our house." And I at the same time love being alone to set my own pace to eat, read, watch TV, etc. That is relaxing. I do NOT want a roommate. There is a luxury to living alone.

I am redecorating my house. Painters came in and painted the long hall way and the kitchen, including the ceilings. They cleaned the walls before painting and fixed a few spots that needed putty, etc. I treated myself and bought a leather recliner (see photo above. Can you see the dulcimer that my husband Will made for me?). The chair is very comfortable and swivels which is a great feature, plus it rocks. The new recliner is from a local company that sells green earth friendly materials and it is all made in the USA.You can go ahead and laugh but I chose the color tan to coordinate with my tan dog. The dog hairs don't show.
My friend who was widowed when I was is freshening up her house too and we talk of it as steps in healing.
I am still wearing my wedding and engagement rings as I still feel married to Will. 
Aren't friends essential? Do you like having coffee with a friend? I meet friends at a coffee shop or at one of our homes once a week or so. Those chats range from light hearted to deep discussions and are fun.

Don't forget my little Bounce who gets me out of the house twice a day for walks, rain or shine. Here in California it is mostly shine.

If you have a partner give them lots of affection and attention while you can.
Word to the wise.

Four books (now seven) arrived at my house

Four new books have arrived at my house recently. The first one I bought at the little book store of used books in our public library. The pretty cover attracted me and the theme of friends in their 60s who move to Fiji made the sale, as they say.
The second one I borrowed from the library and it is the second in the Charlotte and Thomas Pitt detective novels set in Victorian London. I am happy to have found this series and read the first one. The Victorian setting and customs are very accurate which adds to the charm.
I bought the third one "Driving Miss Norma" which is the true story of a lady who when he doctor prescribes intensive cancer treatment for her, tells him "I'm ninety years old and I'm hitting the road" as she travels across the USA in an RV with her son, daughter in law and poodle.
The 4th is special because a blog friend, Diane, mailed it to me as a surprise for my birthday in April.  "The Underground Railroad" is a Pulitzer Prize winning novel by Colson Whitehead and I began reading it yesterday and it is very compelling and brutal and hard to stop reading. In my college years my best friend and I formed a campus group to work for equal rights for African Americans so the topic is meaningful to me.
After I wrote this post, but before publishing it three more books came to my house. A friend had a car trunk full of books she gave away and I am pleased I chose only one, telling her "I am a bookaholic and am limiting myself to one." She said the book I chose, Knowing God, is excellent.

This next one "Writing Hard Stories" has chapters by people who wrote memoirs of getting through hard times, and which I found at a Little Free Library while walking Bounce. Abigail Thomas is in this book and I love her books and have written about them on my blog.

And finally another book I found at a different Little Free Library. Some reviewers said they cried a lot when reading this book about a dog that is ill so I am approaching with caution. The cover and title are so cute and the price was right, it was free. Remember, I have NOT read any of these books, so am not recommending, just showing you some new arrivals at my house.

What books have appeared in your reading life recently?