Friday, July 18, 2008

Gary Chapman Book Giveaway July 18-21

Gary Chapman's "Love as a Way of Life".

In "Love as a Way of Life", Gary Chapman shares tips to help people change in very remarkable and healthy ways, by showing us how to develop traits that help other people, and this focus on others is a dramatic and refreshing change from most self-help books. The publisher has kindly given me two copies to give to people who leave comments here.

The author weaves very compelling short stories about people who had problems and who applied what he suggests with successful results, into his framework of how we can easily change and become more kind, more patient, forgiving, generous and more.

One example he gives really spoke to me: before speaking rashly or unkindly, clap your hand over your mouth, which is from Scripture, and is very helpful to me. Try a few of his simple ideas, and it is likely that you, and the people around you, will be more happy and feel more loved.

Author Bio:

Gary Chapman is the author of twenty-five books, including the New York Times bestseller The Five Love Languages, with more than 4 million copies in print. His daily radio program, A Love Language Minute, is broadcast on more than 100 stations nationwide. Chapman, a graduate of Moody Bible Institute, Wheaton College , Wake-Forest University , and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, serves on the pastoral staff at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem , North Carolina .

Author Photo:

Amazon Link:

Interview with The Author:

1. Describe some of the everyday situations that can be changed if a person has a foundation of love.

When love becomes the focus of ones life it will change every encounter we have with people. In the family, the husband is thinking, “what can I do before I leave for work that would be helpful for my wife?” Such thinking may lead him to take the trash out, put his breakfast plates in the dishwasher or feed the baby while his wife takes a shower.

In the workplace, employees are asking, “on my break, what might I do that would help someone else?” They will also make time to listen to a co-worker who seems to be having a hard time with a personal issue.

At the bank, post office, or cafeteria, the lover will look people in the eye and smile, perhaps opening the door to a conversation. They will express interest in what is going on in the lives of those they encounter.

The focus is not on “it’s all about me.” But, rather on “It is all about others.”

2. What is the take-away message of Love as a Way of Life?

Love as a Way of Life is designed to help the person who sincerely wants to make a positive impact in the world. I believe that is ‘most of us.’ Our biggest problem is that we don’t know how and we keep getting tripped up by our own selfish ambitions. The purpose of the book is to help us break free from the prison of selfishness and come to experience the satisfaction of truly loving others as a way of life. It is little acts of love that build up to a lifestyle of service.

3. Why do you need a foundation of love before you start figuring out our love languages?

The five love languages give information on the most effective way to express love in a meaningful way to a particular person. But, if you are not a loving person – don’t have the heart or will to focus on others – the information is of little value. Most of us must make a conscious change of focus from self to others if we are going to genuinely, and consistently enrich the lives of others. Love as a Way of Life is designed to help people make that change.

4. When did you realize the need for this book?

I first recognized the need for Love as a Way of Life when in a counseling session a husband said to me, “I’ll tell you right now, if it is going to take my washing dishes, and doing the laundry for my wife to feel loved, you can forget that.” I had just explained to him the concept of the five love languages and that his wife’s primary love language was ‘acts of service’ and that these acts would deeply communicate his love to her. I realized that he lacked the will to meet his wife’s need for love. He was locked into his own perception of what his role was to be and it did not include washing dishes and doing laundry. I knew at that moment that there was something more foundational than simply knowing a person’s love language.

5. What are the seven characteristics of lasting love?

I view love not as a single entity, but as a cluster of traits, which if developed will enhance all of life. These traits are:

Kindness: discovering the joy of helping others

Patience: accepting the imperfections of others

Forgiveness: finding freedom from the grip of anger

Courtesy: treating others as friends

Humility: stepping down so someone else can step up

Generosity: giving your time, money, and abilities to others

Honesty: caring enough to tell the truth

6. Why do you think it’s so hard for people to embrace these characteristics?

All of us have some of these characteristics to some degree. Most people see love as being better than hate. But most of us are comfortable to live somewhere between love and hate in a lifestyle that is fundamentally focused on self. We feel good when we are making money, accumulating things, gaining status, but in time these things do not ultimately satisfy what I call the ‘true self’. The true self longs to make the world a better place to live. To do something to help those less fortunate than we.

However, we all suffer from the malady of being ego-centric. I call this the ‘false self’. It is that part of man that pulls him to focus on self-preservation and a self-centered lifestyle. This is not all bad. Indeed we must meet our own physical and emotional needs in order to continue life. It is when we never get beyond this self focus, that life becomes a ‘dog eat dog’ world where everyone is out for self even at the expense of others. Such a life never brings long-term satisfaction. However it is often later in life that people discover the emptiness of selfish living. I’m hoping that Love as a Way of Life will help people discover the satisfaction of developing the ‘true self’ earlier in life.

Gary D. Chapman


Christine said...

I like the motivation of this book. I have tried to think of others before myself and I think of myself as a good person but I do need to learn how to be more patient and understanding in certain situations. Having to go through what I had to go through to get custody of my sisters 3 kids was a nightmare and not be appreciated for it can make someone feel used and there for there is confrontation with that person and ontop of that having 5 kids total is hard in itself and added stress to your marriage. I wouldn't make any different decisions if I had to do it again.

Mrs. F said...

I know quite a few people who could use this book. (Myself included!)

Amy said...

would love to get this book. i really like gary chapman, but have not read this one yet... Amy

walk2write said...

If love of money is the root of all evil, then love of self (excluding all else) must be the "xylem" that keeps that and every other pernicious root alive. It draws in every nourishing thing that comes its way like a vacuum and produces nothing but heartache in return. I know what it's like to be the victim and the perpetrator of "love" like that.

Anonymous said...

i like what he called his 'take away msg', in part, that people can change. what is the point if we are not growing, learning, reaching out? thanks for the recommendation. :)

cafemom paisley.dreams

kamewh said...

I really would love to read this book! I have read so many great reviews of it!

cpullum said...

I love the review and would love to read!!!

Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

This book looks really good. Great words. Thanks for dropping by for a visit too :)


Nancy said...

I've heard a lot about Mr Chapman, but have never read any of his books. This would be an excellent place to start. Thanks for the giveaway.
njones127 at tampabay dot rr dot com

windycindy said...

Greetings! I have read many good things about Mr. Chapman and his book. When I read about the contents of the book, it reminds me of Biblical "agape" love. This book sounds like one that many people could benefit from by reading it. Please enter me in your drawing. I appreciate it.....Cindi

Anita Yancey said...

Love the review. Sounds like a great book, would love to read it.

Flower said...

Good book and author!!
Encouragement is always good!